Ask The Expert! Vol. 2

The Expert solves problems large and small for our readers…he knows all, and tells some.

Dear Expert: Recently I found myself on a Hero’s Journey. Though anxious, I sallied forth to do battle and perhaps gain some valuable insights along the way. However, I was unable to locate the Dragon. What did I do wrong?  Exploring In Euclid

Dear Exploring: Check your Map. Assuming it has been updated recently, the Dragon should be clearly marked by a large “X”. Quick Tip: Often the Dragon can be found lurking near childhood memories or the nearest Starbuck’s.

Dear Expert: Perhaps you can help settle a bet. My friend claims that summer discomfort is caused by the heat. I say it’s the humidity. Who is right?  Vexed In Virginia

Dear Vexed: Unfortunately, neither of you is correct. The real cause is the weather.

Dear Expert: If, as we hear constantly, the world is in fact getting smaller, why is the cost of mailing a letter constantly going up?  Puzzled In Peoria

Dear Puzzled:  Your question actually touches upon two major areas of academic rigor: physics and the Postal Service. Physics first: as you know (or should), entropy refers to the natural tendency of all systems to decay toward chaos. So, even if the world was getting smaller, the chaotic nature of things would justify a small increase in mailing rates. For example, though it may only take hours to fly between continents, entropy tells us that the mailbox may not be where we expect it to be. As a result, the mail carrier must search and search to find the right address.

As to the Postal Service, you think those snazzy uniforms grow on trees? Well, some of them do, and those trees are expensive. Hence the price increase.

Dear Expert: I was recently acting as PL for a TQM project, and I noticed that while we identified our BHAG PDQ, we went AWOL as we tried to create a FUBU solution ASAP. When I brought this to the attention of my team, they told me to MYOB. What’s up?  Harried In Hartford

Dear Harried: FYI, you’ve got AO (Acronym Overload). You require a check up from the neck up…IMHO!

Dear Expert: I have recently taken a new position as a mid-level manager. Do you have any suggestions for me? I really want to make a difference.  Shy In Chicago

Dear Shy:  The key to any management position is to be very clear on your purpose. Why are you there? Is it to generate income for you and your family, or to get a big office with lots of perks? Either answer is correct. As regards your zeal to make a difference, remember this Zen phrase: “Even the rock that sinks to the bottom has made a difference in the pond.”

Send your queries to The Expert…no subject too arcane!


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