Ask The Expert! Vol. 3

The Expert solves problems large and small for our readers…he knows all, and tells some.

Dear Expert: I’ve heard some people say the planet is warming, and others say it isn’t. Who’s right?  Stumped In Seattle

Dear Stumped: I am. The fact is that the planet is both warming and cooling…every day, in fact. Sometimes several times a day. Don’t believe me? Just go outside and see for yourself.

Dear Expert: Please settle a bet. My friend says it’s just a matter of time before robots replace humans. I say it’ll never happen. Wagering In Walla Walla

Dear Wagering:  Collect your dough. Robots will never completely replace humans until they develop the ability to rationalize. It’s what separates us from machines…and animals. Well, that and our ability to accessorize.

Dear Expert: I am avidly following the search for the Higgs boson currently being conducted using the CERN Supercollider. Why is the Higgs boson so difficult to find?  Physics Phan In Florida

Dear Physics Phan: Well, you know how it is when you can’t find something…you search and search, and it’s always in the last place you look. Once the researchers get to that last place, I’m sure they’ll find the pesky particle.

Dear Expert: In a recent sermon, my minister said that idle hands are the Devil’s tools. But I’d always heard that idle hands are the Devil’s workshop. Which is correct?  Confounded In Connecticut

Dear Shy:  Actually, neither is correct. According to Professor Harold Hill of Music Man fame, the correct bromide is “The idle brain is the Devil’s playground.”

Dear Expert: I have noticed that the phrase “at the end of the day” seems to be  in common use by pundits, commentators, politicians and other dubious professions. In some cases, I’ve heard it used several times in one long-winded bloviation. Is this a phrase I should work into my lexicon? Curious in Canton

Dear Curious: No.

Send your queries to The Expert…no subject too arcane!

Today’s Fact-Cetera

French women wore high heels in the 1600s to show they were too rich to walk.


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