Satan’s Lawyers Want A Word With You

From The Law Offices of Infernus, Gehenna, Hades and Peterson

RE: Unauthorized Use Of Trade Name

To Whom It May Concern:

This law firm represents Satan in connection with his intellectual property rights.

We are writing to you in connection with your use of “Devil” in various clichéd forms, including but not restricted to:

  • “Idle hands are the Devil’s workshop”
  • “Give the Devil his due”
  • “Devil’s advocate”
  • “The Devil is in the details”
  • “Between the Devil and the deep blue sea”
  • “Speak of the Devil”

Satan is the sole owner of the trade name DEVIL, as well as the following:

  • Lucifer
  • Prince of Darkness
  • Beelzebub
  • The Deceiver
  • Angel of the Bottomless Pit
  • Evil One
  • Ruler of Demons

This will serve as your legal notice to cease and desist all further actions described above. You are hereby instructed to comply with this letter immediately or face legal sanctions under applicable Federal and State law.

In addition, we hereby inform you that the above clichés are not only prohibited, but some are libelous and defamatory in accordance with Federal and State laws. To wit:

  • Satan has no use for idle hands, nor does he have a workshop. To make such a claim reduces him to a likeable character such as Santa Clause, which could cause irreparable damage to his ongoing enterprise.
  • Satan does not need, nor does he seek, any “advocates”, especially from those who use the statement to avoid accountability for their own misgivings.
  • He categorically denies a presence in any details.

You are hereby notified that if you do not comply with this request, we are authorized by our client to prosecute you to the furthest extent of the law. The consequences of your lack of cooperation in this matter may result in civil fines, including but not limited to attorney fees, penalties and prosecution by the U.S. Attorney’s office for willful violation of Copyright Laws.

Sincerely,

R. Pierpoint Peterson, Managing Partner

Infernus, Gehenna, Hades and Peterson, LLP

Today’s Fact-Cetera

Kangaroos cannot back up.

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