Town Hall Meeting Planned

The Greater Hectorville Voters Alliance Confederation League announced today that both candidates for Congress from the 42nd District have agreed to participate in a Town Hall Meeting.

The announcement caught insiders by surprise, as both H. Bud Plackner and his opponent, Clarence Lingermueller, had sworn they would never again be in the same room together after their contentious August debate.

Speaking on the promise of anonymity, GHVACL Acting President Willard “Yitz” Crompton said that the agreement had been worked out after a chance meeting earlier this week. “Through an apparent mixup, both campaigns had scheduled a meet and greet at The Cozy Cup Cafe,” said Crompton. “When Clarence and Bud found themselves in the same room, they argued about who should leave. This went on for several minutes, until Cozy Cup proprietress Mabel Meltz suggested they take it outside. Somehow, that turned into an agreement for a Town Hall Meeting. Don’t ask me how that happened.”

Spokespersons for both campaigns claimed credit for the agreement, as did Meltz.

A specific date and time have not yet been announced, but the venue and the format have been decided. The Town Hall Meeting will take place at the Hectorville Town Hall and Convention Center, in the big meeting room. The public is invited to come and question the candidates on the following topics:

  • Job Creation
  • The Economy
  • Pothole Maintenance
  • Education
  • What Alexis de Tocqueville meant when he said, “History is a gallery of pictures in which there are few originals and many copies.”

Crompton expects an exciting evening of political theater. “Let’s face it,” said Crompton, “These guys hate each other’s guts. Since they both combine a total lack of restraint with a questionable command of the English language, anything can happen. And probably will.”

Today’s Fact-Cetera

King George II fell to his death…from a toilet seat.

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