I hope this finds you and Mrs. Claus well. I realize this is your busy season, and appreciate your time.
I recognize that this letter is late in reaching you, but recent events have compelled me to amend my previous requests for your largesse.
So here’s what I’m asking for this Christmas:
- For the families and friends of the victims of the Sandy Hook Elementary School: An extra helping of peace and love.
- For Congress and the President: The courage to put aside political calculations and make the difficult compromises.
- For The Media: Patience to let information come in, rather than rushing to report something, anything as fast as possible.
- For anyone who had a bad year: The confidence that 2013 will be better, and the energy to make it happen.
- For all my family, friends and acquaintances: A dollop of joy for each and every day.
I know that the fulfillment of these requests depends on your determination of my behavior in 2012. May I humble submit that—though far from perfect—I trust you’ll agree that my Nice vs. Naughty metrics are well in the positives. Especially if you overlook the email incident in May, which I still maintain was less “naughty” than it was “snarky”. But I trust in your wisdom to make a just decision.
Please consider this letter as superseding my earlier requests; to wit, a new flat screen, a Bose sound system, a copy of “Thomas Jefferson: The Art of Power” by Jon Meacham, and new pair of Sorel boots. I’ll use other channels for those items.
In closing, thanks again for considering my requests. Here’s wishing you safe travels, and please give my best to the elves.
Your Christmas Pal,
P.S.: I know you’ll be exhausted on Christmas Day, so don’t feel you have to do anything special for my birthday. Just enjoy a hard-earned day off.
Today’s Fact Cetera
7 out of 10 dogs get Christmas presents from their owners.